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Just want to welcome readers out there to leave a comment. I'd love to know who's in the wider circle....
posted by riversgrace | 8:29 AM PERMALINK
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Monday, December 10, 2007
Just want to welcome readers out there to leave a comment. I'd love to know who's in the wider circle....
11 Comments:
But of COURSE you still want to hear from the smaller circle, right? Thought so!
Hey, what a great idea.
Here we are. :)
How 'bout this:
What are the top 5 things you are most pissed about lately...?
Hello Prema ~
xo tg
Still have diffucuties leaving comments, but this will be an extra try. I am inner circle ;-) But wide in distance.
Love Gry
Difficulties...jeez check your grammar before leaving comments - but I actually succeded in leaving one. I visit almost as regularly as I pee. Thats a compliment (as I pee pretty often...) or I could say - I am with you Prema, day & night. Warm thoughts from the north.
Hey Prem!
Connecticut is still here....
Hey, Prema. Thinking of you often. Visiting you here regularly. Love.
I always visit your blog. It is so beautiful and full of light and wisdom. Your words are like poetry. I have never met you, but I know your heart is full of love, kindness and beauty. You don't know it, but your posts have touched me deeply, many times.
Blessings, peace and love.
Oh my oh my....this is something I have a lot to say about...anger on the path. I've done quite a bit of exploring of this potent emotion, but for this post, I'll respond to the aspect of being angry and being a mother. I'm a mother of a 31 year old daughter. When she was 13, things at home were heating up and I was in great distress -because I was about to be remembering childhood trauma that had been hidden for decades. Her dad and I had recently bought our first home,I was in school-a returning student getting my BFA (big F#@%ing Art degree). And did I mention she was 13...? Tension was pretty high for all those reasons and more. Her dad and I were a good match but our relationship was strained with the surfacing memories too and I was feeling more and more trapped. I can see it all much more clearly now than I could then--all the good reasons why I was feeling angry and sad and scared and trapped. It was all about my past, AND it was all about the present at that time as well. My daughter and I had some terrible fights. After one,I wrote to someone who had been a "Visiting Artist" teacher and had become a friend. I was lamenting my lapses in 'rationality' and feeling like a BAD MOTHER. She wrote something back to me that I still remember after more than 15 years. She said that it was ok..that I was ok...that the spectre of 'bad mother' was just someone who would 'show up' periodically...but that as far as my daughter was concerned-and here's the part I remember so clearly-
"...you give her the gift of your anger within the much larger context of your love."
I clung to those words and I am still so struck by the wisdom, love, compassion and truth in them.
Anger is part of the 'package'we get when we 'take birth' as human. It's one of the 'functions'on our 'player'. We get to work with it...WITH it, not against it. Accepting it and using it has worked better than any other strategy. (ask me sometime about anger rituals!) Anger is really a potent messenger. I still don't feel good when I direct it at someone(including myself). But the truth is that my friend was right. My love IS the much larger context. My love isn't gone just because anger shows up. It's like my friend gave it back to me somehow...gave me the 'permission' to claim that larger context. and to forgive myself. My daughter may not have liked how it felt when I was angry, ( nor did I) but she also got to see me as a real person, struggling with my humanity. So I began to see that I could give her an honest model so that when she would come to a place like that, finding her own anger, she wouldn't be shocked or surprised, or hate herself--she'd have a way of knowing that the anger doesn't cancel out the love. It's never larger than love, just 'flashier'.
The good news is that it worked. My daughter and I are great friends and our relationship is BIG- our love is big enough to have gotten us past some pretty hard stuff.
Sometimes the only way out is through.
love,
Marian
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