RiversGrace

Navigating the Sacred and Mundane

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Light Dream

This morning, fumes from two hours of sleep, I dream that I am walking the aisles of a grocery store. A large black man follows my steps, gaining proximity as my fear builds. Looking behind me to protect myself, I run right into him around the next turn. He grabs me from behind, both arms easily wrap my circumference, and holds me still. Sliding to the ground I wonder if this is it, the end. Eyes closed, knees from behind lock into the bend of mine. Warm width, chest to back, air on the nape of my neck. It takes a moment to realize that he's spooning me.

With all the feeling behind me, I begin to remember the feeling of comfort.

I shouldn't really call it a dream. It unfolds in predawn delirium, must have sunk just enough to ride that wave. Standing from sleep, from the strangeness of contact, I walk over to the window; the hint of light from the horizon meets me at the pane. The only wonderful part about being awake. It's a new day, Prem, I whisper.

It's more dark than light, so I wait. I want to wait. I want to watch myself see. And more than anything I want to understand finally and forever: light emerges from darkness.



More light than dark and the mountain appears, illuminated edges at the sky. Moments earlier, it is still obscure. Light unveils what is already there.

I lay on the couch, cold under fleece, and accept the rays at my feet.

5 Comments:

Blogger hg said...

"It's more dark than light, so I wait. I want to wait. I want to watch myself see. And more than anything I want to understand finally and forever: light emerges from darkness."
-wow

I want to read this over and over and over. How many times I've watched the day break and never had that thought- that recognition that I'm watching light emerge from darkness. And it happens every day, every time, over and over, now and forever. Light always emerges from darkness. We know it, but why don't we ever get it in a way we can hold on to?

I love your writing, Prem. Love, love, love it! Especially over good coffee with pretty art in the foam!

3:45 PM  
Blogger Deb Shucka said...

So glad to hear that dawn is coming for you once again. So glad to get to read your incredible writing. Love.

10:38 AM  
Blogger Carrie Wilson Link said...

I shuddered, SHUDDERED, I'm telling you, when I read these words. You. Blow. Me. Away.

3:58 PM  
Blogger Go Mama said...

Love to see that you're back! That in your awareness the darkness embraces you, spoons you, comforts. That out of the darkness light emerges. That without the darkness, light would be just so...well...darn...light... without any opposition or contrast to define itself.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

What can be added to that? Nothing. These words are few, but tell just where you are. Beautiful.

((you))

:)

10:38 AM  

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